All of my exes have wanted to get back with me. Half of them have wanted to jump into serious long term exclusive relationships after they had a chance to see me after the break up. Considering that in most cases the break up was their idea, the statistics are pretty good for coming up with the “get him back” formula.

Before I tell you my strategy on the “getting my ex back” subject I’d like to point out that I’m totally against getting back with your ex. Would you enjoy a fresh meal or last week’s leftovers?  Would you like to wear a new dress or an old ripped dress with holes and stains? Exactly! But life is about choices and everyone creates her own happiness, so here is my strategy on how to get your ex back.
It doesn’t matter who initiates the break up. We (women) have an excellent intuition so we can sense the break up is in the air. So if you feel that you are very close, break up with him first. Best case scenario is breaking up as a lady: an angel smile, a quiet voice, respectful words, and a strong attitude. 
“Ok, we broke up, what’s next”, you think.

Getting Your Ex Back

1.     Completely disconnect him for 1-3 months. If the break up was civil and respectful, one month would be enough, if the break up was his idea, 2 to 3 months would be the best. Complete disconnect means meetings, calls, texts, emails, NOTHING. You don’t contact him and DO NOT answer if he contacts you. Plus, no explanations. If he contacts your friends, answers might be the most outrageous (high profile job in the moon, travels to Russia collecting songs, on FBI assignment)

 
2.     Focus on your appearance (gym, healthy diet, image, style, etc). You have to do it for two reasons:

 
1)     When we look good and like ourselves, we sparkle with strong, positive energy that attracts other people.

 
2)     Remember, your look matters. I’m not talking about a total makeover (even though it’s sometimes necessary). When any man sees you, the first thing he notices is your LOOK. He’ll see your amazing personality, sense of humor, and beautiful soul down the road. The first impression is the strongest. Do you know that people subconsciously know either they like partners or not in the first 30 seconds of their first meeting?

 
3.     Switch your focus from your ex:

 
1)     Stop talking to him inside your head and imagine different scripts of your future relationship.

 
2)     Control your thinking about him (yes, rule of 100: 100 times you acknowledge that you think about him and stop, just think of something else). If something reminds you of him it’s good. It will help you practice more. Nobody said that victory is easy.

 
4.     Focus on your professional side (do something new at work, start a little side business, etc.) Men DO love accomplished women and if some of them don’t it means that they are simply insecure about themselves.
5.     Get out and see other people (just make sure that it is NOT another date) Remember, you are not out fishing. You are out to watch the fish.

 
You have to follow those rules till you get out of your crazy addictive thoughts and feelings about your EX. Your feelings must be sweet, warm and fuzzy. You have to feel positive about yourself as well.

 
Warning: Like attracts Like. If you contact your ex in any negative state of mind (angry, sad, desperate, needy, depressed) you’ll get a negative result.

 
Now, when you are ready you can contact him. What to do after that:

 
1.     Make ALL your calls less than 5 minutes, your coffee meetings less than 30 minutes, lunches less than one hour, and dinners less than 1.5 hours. Do you know the sense of diet when it’s always not enough food makes yourself his biggest craving?

 
2.     Accept his attempts to contact you but make yourself unavailable 90% of the time. Decline in the politest way possible with “I’d love to but I already made plans”

 
3.     Let him hunt. Men are hunters. The more tricks you’ll come up with, the more successful you’ll end up.

 
4.     Avoid sex for at least 10 dates.

 
5.     Think what kind of mistakes you’ve done since you’ve met him and do not repeat those mistakes.

 
6.     See him ONLY when you feel positive.

 
Enjoy, date him like you never have before!