Comments on: Break Up Story + Break Up Advice

By: Maria

Maria — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:10:00 +0000

Hi, I’m one of Clara’s friend and i’ve been living with her the whole situation. I think the story shows the general idea of what has happened and I agree with Erica about the follow ups. But one point I think this is still missing (what i’ve told Clara to do since I applied it myself before with a dramatic relationship) is to menthalize that IT IS OVER. I think that nothing is going to work out if you dont realize deep in your mind that you need a change and you need to start from yourself. after you take this decision, you will see things different, and you will change the point of view you had before. it is necessary to do that in order to feel better with yourself, to stop thinking about what he’s doing, if he is thinking about you, that you visited this or that place with him, that this song reminds you of him, etc,etc,etc, thoughts that are not helping you at all but making you to feel even worst and being even further to finally go over it. I think Clara is a beautiful, smart and charming girl who deserves a great mind by her side, and she doesnt need to worry if someday he will finally comes, because he will come for sure, and I know the pain she is suffering right now but she also has all my support to deal with ♥♥♥.

By: Vern

Vern — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 06:10:23 +0000

Hi Clara, I read your story and Erica’s responses. I am in a similar situation and Erica’s responses really helped me too. Some other things that are helping me are: 1) Prayer 2) Re-establishing relationships with friends and going out (I used to mostly “save my time” for him – being too available 3) Cut off all contact – each contact made me feel like I was breaking up all over again. 4) Realize and actually make a list ( I look at it often) of what was bad about the relationship. We tend to look at, long for and only remember the good – when actually the bad (most of the time) outweighs the good (or else we’d probably still be together). When we focus on what was wrong with the relationship (for example: no real committment, coldness, dishonesty, no special treatment, etc., etc., etc.,) we realize – HE AIN’T ALL THAT AND I DESERVE BETTER. Relationships should make you feel good. If there’s mostly sadness and longing – it’s no good anyway. Shake him off girl, he ain’t all that. You deserve someone to treat you like the Queen that you are! (I’m talking to myself too!) Make up your mind to except nothing less. God bless!

By: Cheryl Umana

Cheryl Umana — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 01:16:30 +0000

Hi, I wanted to share my story with you. I had a fiancee’ that I was with for 11 years. I was patient and kind and did everything for this man. Finally, after 10 years he proposed to me only to break up with me 8 months later. He was cold, indifferent, arrogant you name it. Anyway, he broke my heart in so many pieces and I was crushed. I picked myself up and started to go to a divorce support group (we were common law married). I met a wonderful man and almost 1 year later we are still together. This man loves me and has all the qualities I look for in a person. Please do not blame yourself like I did. It is a waste of time and effort. You will get over this, I promise.

By: Clara

Clara — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:41:29 +0000

I have read the article. Thank you very much!!!!. You help me to understand and accept some things about this situation. Through this document and your explanations you gave me answers at this time of my life. Although I felt bad because my behavior and I could understand very well your point.